*~[~MY LIFE~]~*

Saturday, April 29, 2006

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yoyo..
i guess today is a bad day for me ba..
everything is so uncertain in my life recently..
went to meet char and evon to walk walk today..
oh ya i saw zijie at city hall mrt today..!!
when i am so badly dress today.
and thanks for saying that i have gain weight n it's time for a workout hur?
went billy bombers for some milkshakes after tat..
char order some drinks tat taste like sour milk..
evon got a banana milkshake
n me, kiwi n lemonade soda.
haha so sad, her cute waiter din appear in billy bombers today..
haha.. suppose to buy shoes.
but didn't get to find anyway..
or rather maybe i am just simply too down to really go make an effort to search for it.
something in my life..
keep making anyhow think that really spoil my mood for the day..
perhaps it has been a long long time since i last smile..
hai...
maybe one should onli depend on yourself but not others ba..
if not, the possibility of getting affected by the other party is really high..
especially when your relationship with the other party is so unstable ( according to your sentiment..)
when to eat ichiban sushi at esplanade..
but it just remind me of noah when i am inside..
those good old times..
:)
and i just can't help but feel down when i see those happy couple in the restaurant.
it just remind me of our good times together..
and i don't know when will we have the chance to have more happy memories together anymore..
especially when things has become so weird and difted for us..
i took a few private moments when i was seating by the river, facing my fav scenary, day dreaming.
thinkin of where my life is heading to..
what will happen the next day when the sun is up again..
and suddenly i caught myself dumbfounded..
i found no answer..
i don't even noe will i lose someone important to me when i am awake the next day.
just feel like going away alone..
to sort out everything
or in other words, to escape.
i really want to escape this time.
went to eat chocolate fondue at esplanade with char after tat.
i guess that is the first thing today that makes me smile..
or rather make me feel better.
that place is really a nice place..
i hope u can see the picture i uploaded at the top..
if there's chance,
bring the one that is the most important to u there sometime..
it will definitely be a very sweet and beautiful memories together..
hai..
i also hope that one day, he will bring me there too..

duno why, i guess there is something very wrong with my com..
don't know why all the songs that came out while i am writing this blog is all sad songs!

[ V O N ] |Saturday, April 29, 2006|

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Thursday, April 27, 2006

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hai recently dar dar weird weird de...
dunno what happen to him also.
guess can only wait till he meets me then the mystery will reveal.
but that's like how long more?
one more week?
hai hope that it doesn't concern both of us.
as in it's about anything about our relationship.
don't know why i jus have a bad feeling about this issue moreover it has been affecting him so much.
even his friends also realise his changes.
hai.
got so much things to tell him actually.
but i guess all i can do now is to type all my troubles here..

SAT is just round the corner.. and i totally don't have the mood to study..
dunno why..
feel tat i am in a very vulnerable state.
i guess if i receive nus rejection letter i will be devastated
and they are going to send to outcome of my application soon.
hope that i will not receive anything before next sat.
i have been preparing quite hard enough for my SAT..
i really hope tat everything will go smoothly till i take my test next sat.
although i might not talk much about the nus thing..
but deep inside i am more worry than anyone else.
i am afraid that when i receive it, i will have no more determination to fight for my last battle - SAT.
and my darling because he got his own problem,
i guess he will not have much energy to walk me thru too.
guess i am all alone now.
hope that dar's problems will be solved soon too..
:)

[ V O N ] |Thursday, April 27, 2006|

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Monday, April 24, 2006

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i deproved!!
hai how to get 2000 in 14 days time!!
kill me pls!
i give in to fate.

[ V O N ] |Monday, April 24, 2006|

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Saturday, April 15, 2006

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yoyoyo i guess it's time for me to update my blog again!!
dunno why recently, everyone has been bugging me to update my blog..
anyway life has been real tough me for recently..
with something very important gonna happen in my life soon.
well it determines my fate for the next few years..
sound important enough?
lol
okay stop all those bull shitting and get back to real stuff.
suppose to go sing ktv w the bunch of monkeys today..
but due to unforseen circumstances ( my mum... )
i took back my words..
and guess what? the first msg that i saw this morning was..
garfield : OI u idiot!
ya wad a good morning msg hur?
haha.. ok BUT i still managed to join those monkey to celebrate belated kenneth's 20th birthday and yuhui's 19th birthday!
oh ya somemore their way of celebrating friends birthday is kinda unique too..
standing together in taka chatting..
i repeat again standing together in one circle..
haha after tat they finally gave in to my request on going to baker's inn for cakes!
yum yum nice catching up too n coz we are too poor, we din get to drink anything there..
so thirsty man!

met darling when garfield n i was walking towards the bus stop
woah inside man was great..
hmm finally got to watch movie at the cathay..
food was kinda expensive over there but wide variety i mus say..
dinner at mr bean..
and rochor beancurd too..
hmm and now, i am home..
back to the place where i can't smile anymore...
:(

[ V O N ] |Saturday, April 15, 2006|

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Thursday, April 06, 2006

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went kbox with ying ytd..
catch up w one another ..
rude waitress..
how come she say she had no time to serve us?
we are paying customers!

imagine leading a life with mum always compare u with others?
especially your cousin?
well let we define my relationship w tis cousin first.
and provide a few relevant background knowledge.
she is someone a year younger den me and she is an indo chinese.
currently studying in smu (somehow becoz she is not a singaporean, she got in b4 the actual age to admit into uni)
she is definitely a mama girl.
a super obedient girl as all she does is study , study n study!
always got top in sch when she was in indo.
good in mathematics (but mind u, math in malay)
or rather i guess in indo everything is in malay but she had home tuition for english as her mum was preparing her for entry into singapore uni.

and now it's my turn to get into uni.
she took this paper tat call SAT.
tat consists of math and english.
i will be taking this paper soon too..
and i found out tat actually the score that she got for SAT wasn't really fantastic.
even thou from what i heard about how good she is in her academic.
when i heard about her result, i was thinking, so if i score better den her, does that means tat i am better den her ?
and so i can shut my mum's mouth up and stop her from comparing me and her?
so what if she always top in her sch for mathematics?
so what if i always failed my math in my college?
it doesn't prove that my math is worth den her?
i guess most people will agree w me that singapore mathamatics is off a higher standard den indo?
so how can she compare me and her in an unequal basis?

but my mum totally disagree w me..
she says that even if i score better den her in math, doesn't means tat i am better den her..
coz her english is not tat good..
does that mean that i will never prove myself that i am much better den her or rather her standard?
but come on, math don't require fantastic english to score..
mostly it's in numerical!
and even if i score better den her, i still can't prove that i am better?
den do u expect us to go seat for an IQ test?
SAT is the most fair test now, coz both of us is taking the same test, the same standard!
i dun give a damn whether is her english good or not..
tis is a world that speaks english, if her english is poor,
it's up to her to brush it up or not.
beside from what i know her english is not bad?
so there shouldn't be a problem in understanding those math questions.
we can jus compare our marks from the math section anyway..

one thing i mus mention.
i am not a very competitive person, but i simply can't stand people keep telling me that someone is better den me when we din even get to compete on an equal basis!
it's simply like comparing someone's a'level result with another person's o'level result!

oh ya and they was saying that she actually could go into singapore uni using her indo result. which means without the help of SAT.
come on i think it's totally bullshit.
if she really can get in using her indo excellent result, than can someone explain to me when nus and ntu rejected her?
don't give me reason like because she is a foreigner, china people get into nus or ntu too rite?
it's jus because smu look at SAT and her SAT result is acceptable to smu tat's why they accepted her.
but my mum totally disagree w me and insisted that she is the best.
insisted tat her result is so terrific that can get her to anywhere.
and when she can't provide me an answer on why other foreigners can go in nus or ntu but not her, she jus walk away..
come on la.. if she worship my cousin so much, den why don't u ask her to be your daughter instead?

i am seriously piss!!!
really piss!!!
i really hate her so so so much!!
hate her for not even giving me a chance to prove that i am of the same standard as my cousin or even better.. but keep insist tat i am worst den her!!!
it's simply not fair!
and since i am not even close to my cousin , by doing all those will simply just make me HATE her more!

and imagine that u already suffer such a huge blow at home.
and u realise that your boyfriend is super affected due to his ex girl friend deleted him away from his friendster?
but he die also dun wan to admit..
but does all those little action to prove that actually he is really affected
even after 24 hours later??
he even go to your profile to check whether did his ex deleted u away too?
and it turn out that she didn't?
how will u feel?
deep inside, u hope tat u can tell him how much u suffer at home..
all those unfairness.
but all those words jus simply can't come out.
coz u are simply speechless when u saw his reaction when he realise he was being deleted from his ex friendster?
who in this world wouldn't think that he still care alot for his ex?
isn't this a double blow
and during the conversation , when u jus trying to ask him put himself into ur shoe, he jus keep saying u am jealous over such thing
ya perhaps u r really jealous, but since he say he is not affected den cont with his lies..
stop saying one thing but in his hrt his are doing otherwise..
it's not about he shouldn't tell u anymore things next time but can he jus put hisself in other ppl shoe b4 he do anything.
beside not say he dunno tat u were in a lousy mood!!
thou u din tell him the details, but u told him that u were in a bad mood!!
but he simply jus care about his ex galfrez deleted him away from friendster n not even thinking of spendin those time to care more about his current galfrez emotional needs!
if she is still as impt to him, all he have to is to say it in front of her!
and to tell him something, i help him in doing something!
i have jus deleted her away from my friendster too!!
hope tat will lessen his misery!!
and the best part is he jus say he wana sleep and put down the phone,
still say something like he has to work and she doesn't need to work so he mus go get some sleep..
hello when u are workin as a part time all u need is to do your job and get the money!
i am the one who is still strugglin for my life and u nv even ask anything about what happen to me before u hang up!
perhaps it's none of your business rite?
since u only care about your ex galfrez deleted u away from ur friendster
i din noe tat is so impt and such a big business to u!

WELL THAT'S MY LIFE!
thanks for making me realise tat one cannot rely on anyone but only on yourself!!!!!
WHAT A WONDERFUL REALISATION!
can i jus spell the word F U C K?

[ V O N ] |Thursday, April 06, 2006|

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